Paying It Forward

We helped a vet starting over today and it feels so good to pay it forward. I know what it means to start over. I know what it means to start again with just an empty apartment. I know what it means to live without a couch or tv and to worry about how you will pay the rent on your own. I've been good about always keeping some emergency money in my savings for the unexpected and my family and friends have been so generous with me, especially in these times - one in particular. But not everyone is so lucky and today I am reminded of that.

My Birthday

Birthday Dinner with the boys :-)

6 am walk by the water with Charlie...

I'm writing a review on the Monterrey Bay aquarium and clement hotel so I decided to line it up with my bday for a little get away treat...it's definitely what this family's been needing.

Love the kelty kids pack! Charlie can see everything he wants to see and no crying to get out.

So excited in the aquarium that he later passed out.

My lunch date (he's only half the cute factor!)

Happy 9 months today Charlie :-) We head back to see Dr. Chan tomorrow so I'll update you on his stats soon  :-)

And...the sweetest gift, little Haley Janae Miller (hope I spelled that correctly Mist) was born on my birthday. Nothing like sharing your birthday with your girlfriends 1st baby. Love you girls.

Lunch with Nona

My mom was in Los Gatos yesterday and was supposed to have a lunch appt in Gilroy but they cancelled so Charlie and I scurried down to Los Gatos for lunch with Nona :-) Charlie did great the whole time in his high chair...looking quite grown up I might add with his new hat (good pick Nona!) and handling his sippie cup. Lunch was a well-needed break from the chaos around the condo lately...here are my two fav. pics :-)

A Perfect Mother's Day Weekend

*See more landscape photos on my photography blog - linked in the upper right corner

Cinco de Mayo

An excuse for a short dinner and margarita out on the town :-)

Stopping briefly on the drive home to appreciate the twilight hour....

Snuck in a moment together while Charlie dozed in the car...

Go Back to Work or Stay at Home...No Easy Answers

There's never a perfect scenario no matter how good anyone's situation may appear from the outside. We have nothing to complain about in our house - Charlie is home with me every day and Jose makes a stable living so we are able to break even monthly when on budget.  I think in my mind that I'd always thought I'd be back to work when he was 6 months old. Now what goes through my mind is "he's so little" and "what about our bottle conundrum". "Where the heck am I going to find a job?" (as I'm watching all the teachers get pink slipped) "do I even want to teach again with the crazy English grading?".  The fact of the matter is that I don't want to go back to work right now because in my heart I believe no one (except Jose) can do as good of a job with Charlie as his own Mama. This doesn't mean that I don't long to have a lunch break with co-workers where we have adult conversations that DON'T include topics such as diaper blow-outs, best butt creams, and sleep problems. I long to wear nice work clothes (as I can't justify buying nice new clothes for my dairy-free size without new income) and have time where there is no grumbling/crying/incesscent fake coughing.

But even as I type I get sad thinking about missing his daily growth. I get sad thinking about the fact that we spent the first 2 months not knowing about his dairy allergy and being, quite frankly, miserable. (I know tons of new parents who are miserable in the 1st 3 months anyway, so you don't need to email me). If we don't have a baby #2 I will really miss him being this tiny - heck I'll miss it either way.

What I do know is quality day care here is $1870/month and it's hard to swallow half your pay check going to someone else to watch your baby.

But not going back to work means no spending money and not getting any closer to house than we are right now. This week I thought we were close to getting an apartment manager position which would cut our current $1,950/mo rent to $0 monthly and would have been great to actually stay home and save money, who's ever heard of that? Unfortunately the hiring person told me at the last minute they selected another applicant and yeah, I'm bummed. I've tried to be creative with what I could do while home with the little guy: applying to apt mgr jobs, offering part time in home day-care (slightly crazy I know but I figure I could do 1-2 days/week), tutoring (but Jose's schedule can't commit to be home certain nights of the week due to travel and after paying a sitter I'd only make $10/session) etc. etc. Perhaps I'm living on pluto (which apparently doesn't exist) to think that I could find a happy medium - staying with Charlie and contributing financially to our household. 

Despite all the headlines in my brain, life on pluto is good. 73 degrees outside today and Charlie and I went to have lunch at Dad's office. Though there is always a parade going in and out of the office; (most of the people don't have kids and find Charlie fascinating) Jose, Charlie and I and a quiet lunch in the sunshine in the courtyard.  I know it sounds super simple, but it made my heart so happy to have 30 mins with my boys in the beautiful weather.

TGIF!

Sweet Boy

Jose and I were talking before work this morning and admiring Charlie in his happy little state. We both agree that it keeps getting better with the little man. I think we both thought he'd be "like this" when he was born....expressive and happy, playful.  But the truth is newborns are eat/sleep/poop/cry machines...emphasis on cry for Charlie.  I saw my teacher-friend Steph at new mom's coffee and her newborn is such a sweet chiller and I thought to myself, see they do exist! I was a tid bit jealous because I wish that I could have enjoyed those early weeks MORE, not that I didn't enjoy them...they were just stressful. No matter how bad a day gets I try to remind myself that this time is flying by and to soak it up - there is beauty to be found in every day and it's never more apparent than now.

Taking a break from playing during tummy time.

Happy Boy - He especially loves the word "crazy" :-)

Hmmm....can I chew on that camera?

Playing with Daddy

No, not constipated....winding up for a pre-bedtime tantrum

Charlie's 1st Thanksgiving

Our Dairy Free Thanksgiving at Home

Playing on his mat while his parents eat...we had to move it right next to the table because SOMEONE was feeling lonely :-)

Thanksgiving

Stay tuned for thanksgiving pics tomorrow!

I am so thankful for so many things this year

1. A Healthy Family

2. A husband and baby boy I love more than anything

3. Jose's good job with Factset and health insurance

4. The ability to stay home with Charlie and give him the best care I can.

5.Food on the thanksgiving table (dairy free for my little guy :-)

6. A comfortable living space in our rented condo (dreaming/planning for a home continues but    I am so thankful nonetheless.

7. Great friends who give my family the support it needs to thrive.

8. My education - it helps me creatively cope!

9. A reliable car to adventure out (when no one is congested!)

10. Did I already say the love of Jose Cuevas? :-)