But even as I type I get sad thinking about missing his daily growth. I get sad thinking about the fact that we spent the first 2 months not knowing about his dairy allergy and being, quite frankly, miserable. (I know tons of new parents who are miserable in the 1st 3 months anyway, so you don't need to email me). If we don't have a baby #2 I will really miss him being this tiny - heck I'll miss it either way.
What I do know is quality day care here is $1870/month and it's hard to swallow half your pay check going to someone else to watch your baby.
But not going back to work means no spending money and not getting any closer to house than we are right now. This week I thought we were close to getting an apartment manager position which would cut our current $1,950/mo rent to $0 monthly and would have been great to actually stay home and save money, who's ever heard of that? Unfortunately the hiring person told me at the last minute they selected another applicant and yeah, I'm bummed. I've tried to be creative with what I could do while home with the little guy: applying to apt mgr jobs, offering part time in home day-care (slightly crazy I know but I figure I could do 1-2 days/week), tutoring (but Jose's schedule can't commit to be home certain nights of the week due to travel and after paying a sitter I'd only make $10/session) etc. etc. Perhaps I'm living on pluto (which apparently doesn't exist) to think that I could find a happy medium - staying with Charlie and contributing financially to our household.
Despite all the headlines in my brain, life on pluto is good. 73 degrees outside today and Charlie and I went to have lunch at Dad's office. Though there is always a parade going in and out of the office; (most of the people don't have kids and find Charlie fascinating) Jose, Charlie and I and a quiet lunch in the sunshine in the courtyard. I know it sounds super simple, but it made my heart so happy to have 30 mins with my boys in the beautiful weather.
