"Sleep Training"

When It's Time:

Well we've gotten to that lovely point in our house - time for sleep training. Maybe it was past the time to start but on Sunday it was abundantly clear.  Charlie learned how to roll over in his swaddle and I was worried that with his hands/arms restricted that he would not be able to push himself up to breathe. That being said - he still did not want to go to sleep/wouldn't stay asleep without it.  Our (very awesome) nurse practitioner (also a mother of two which is a big comfort to me these days) recommended that we only swaddle his legs to "wean" him. We also simultaneously started putting Charlie down awake in his crib and letting him learn to "self soothe"...aka cry it out :-( It sounds so harsh and as a parent it feels so harsh - but research shows that babies who learn to self soothe are better sleepers in both the short and long term.  Not to mention that I was about to lose my mind with  bouncy bouncy business of trying to get him to sleep and stay asleep.

Books We're Using:

So we are working off a combo of two books: Sleeping Through The Night (Mindell) and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Weissbluth). I really like the idea of The No Cry Sleep Solution, but I was losing my mind and needed Charlie to start doing this independently. Of course Ferber is the man behind the CIO theory and his revised book recommends going in after 1 min, then 2mins, then 4 mins etc. but I was worried that it would send CC the wrong message to keep going in. With reading (ok, frankly frantically scanning while sitting in the car trying to let CC keep sleeping) I was really frustrated because as with most things as a new parent you just want someone to give you a step by step guide. Do this and if this happens then do this - a map if you will - of course no book can do that for you.  Where is super nanny when you need her? (I think she only does older babies!)

All of the books I'm using (with the exception of Mindell, gifted to us by the Lacuestas before CC was born, thank you so much!) I checked out from the library. I'm all about freebies and used items if you can get your hands on them.  I think the Weissbluth book is worth buying in addition since he continues with sections for babies by month (ie 5-12 months, 13-36 months, pre-school children, school children and adolescence, special sleep problems) and let's face it - sleep is going to be a long term parenting topic :-)

How we're doing it:

I broke down and bought a video monitor and it's my "best new parent value" of the month.  Once put down Charlie almost immediately flips to his stomach and stays there. I talked it over with our NP as I'm obviously concerned because he is "supposed" to sleep on his back. She basically told me that once he rolls over I'm not in control of the situation and it would be ridiculous to keep going in to flip him or stand at the crib all night! I knew that in my heart but I guess I needed to hear it out loud.  I brought up the "alarm" that can alert you when babies stop breathing but I was afraid that it would make me frantic...more harm than good. She brought up that with their second baby (11 mos old) they bought the video monitor and she wished they had it from the beginning.  I put Charlie down in his crib and close the door to the master - go out to the living room and watch him on the monitor just to make sure he's okay. (I usually don't turn the sound on until he's already asleep and no I can't watch it constantly I try to do something else at the same time) I figured out last night that running the washing machine and dryer as well as having the tv on helps to drown out the crying.  It seems like it's getting progressively better after he cried the first night for 40+ minutes :-( Chan - Sizzle said it's okay for him to cry up to an hour if he's been fed, changed, is in a safe place and was drowsy when you put him down.  It's still a terrible thing to sit through - I don't care what anybody says.

Video Monitor

The monitor is a somewhat basic model - about $100 the summer infant with the 5" screen and camera for the crib area. They have a cool one that has a "walkie talkie" little screen but I was concerned that it would be too small for us and the model I chose you can hook up another camera for future child #2 (NO, not prego, just a planner).  The NP has two cameras on hers and just switches channels to see both of her kiddos.  On the parent screen it's nothing fancy, black and white but it's good enough to show his little back going up and down so we know he's breathing without going in to "feel" for ourselves.  

No - I didn't get the HD version ($500+) but I would be curious to see it in action :-)

We used to watch tv in the master while Charlie slept in my arms or tip-toe after he was in the crib but with the CIO we've been hunkering down in the living room until we're sleepy and then going to bed - no tv in the room. Probably better for us anyway! We'll be moving him into his own room around 6 months (because that's what 1st candle recommends but it also feels like a comfortable goal for me) so I'm looking forward to that!

Big thank yous to fellow moms Andrea Kanda and Sarah Sanders who provided sound advice, and their own experiences. Thank you to Erin for our coffee date and dinner out that kept me sane, and of course the big Thank you to Big Daddy who has altered his travel plans to be home every night so we can do this together.  I love you and  you are an incredible dad.